Annual Professional Commentary on the Oscar Nominations

Best Motion Picture of the Year
127 Hours (2010): Christian Colson, Danny Boyle, John Smithson = oy
Black Swan (2010): Mike Medavoy, Brian Oliver, Scott Franklin = yay, pretty much
The Fighter (2010): David Hoberman, Todd Lieberman, Mark Wahlberg = barf
Inception (2010): Christopher Nolan, Emma Thomas = obligatory
The Kids Are All Right (2010): Gary Gilbert, Jeffrey Levy-Hinte, Celine Rattray = sorry, no
The King's Speech (2010): Iain Canning, Emile Sherman, Gareth Unwin = Miramax nostalgia
The Social Network (2010): Scott Rudin, Dana Brunetti, Michael De Luca, Ceán Chaffin = and the winner is
Toy Story 3 (2010): Darla K. Anderson = yay, pretty much
True Grit (2010): Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Scott Rudin = yay
Winter's Bone (2010): Anne Rosellini, Alix Madigan = barf

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Javier Bardem for Biutiful (2010) = Julia paid 'em
Jeff Bridges for True Grit (2010) = yay
Jesse Eisenberg for The Social Network (2010) = sure
Colin Firth for The King's Speech (2010) = whatevs
James Franco for 127 Hours (2010) = at Gosling's expense

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right (2010) = best thing about it
Nicole Kidman for Rabbit Hole (2010) = barf
Jennifer Lawrence for Winter's Bone (2010) = yawn
Natalie Portman for Black Swan (2010) = yay
Michelle Williams for Blue Valentine (2010) = yay

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale for The Fighter (2010) = the full retard
John Hawkes for Winter's Bone (2010) = best thing about it
Jeremy Renner for The Town (2010) = interesting
Mark Ruffalo for The Kids Are All Right (2010) = shrug
Geoffrey Rush for The King's Speech (2010) = shrug

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams for The Fighter (2010) = her perennial nomination; also: yum
Helena Bonham Carter for The King's Speech (2010) = shrug
Melissa Leo for The Fighter (2010) = oh please
Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit (2010) = emoticons to express yay because she's 14
Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom (2010) = yay

Best Achievement in Directing
Darren Aronofsky for Black Swan (2010) = won't win
Ethan Coen, Joel Coen for True Grit (2010) = awesome
David Fincher for The Social Network (2010) = deserved this fifteen years ago
Tom Hooper for The King's Speech (2010) = whatevs
David O. Russell for The Fighter (2010) = aw hail no

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
Another Year (2010): Mike Leigh = throw the dog a bone
The Fighter (2010): Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, Keith Dorrington = no no way n'uh uh no way fuggetit
Inception (2010): Christopher Nolan = oh please
The Kids Are All Right (2010): Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg = see Inception
The King's Speech (2010): David Seidler = he wrote Tucker

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
127 Hours (2010): Danny Boyle, Simon Beaufoy = Slumdog ass-covering
The Social Network (2010): Aaron Sorkin = rent that tux
Toy Story 3 (2010): Michael Arndt, John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich = ok
True Grit (2010): Joel Coen, Ethan Coen = yay
Winter's Bone (2010): Debra Granik, Anne Rosellini = barf

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
How to Train Your Dragon (2010): Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders = ok
The Illusionist (2010): Sylvain Chomet = love-children everywhere are checking their attics
Toy Story 3 (2010): Lee Unkrich = believe it or not

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Biutiful (2010): Alejandro González Iñárritu(Mexico) = or Julia would've killed everyone
Dogtooth (2009): Giorgos Lanthimos(Greece) = yay
In a Better World (2010): Susanne Bier(Denmark) = didn't see, but Bier should be in movie jail
Incendies (2010): Denis Villeneuve(Canada) = go Leafs
Outside the Law (2010): Rachid Bouchareb(Algeria) = news to me

Best Achievement in Cinematography
Black Swan (2010): Matthew Libatique = yay
Inception (2010): Wally Pfister = best thing about it
The King's Speech (2010): Danny Cohen = rock me, Danny Cohen
The Social Network (2010): Jeff Cronenweth = runs in the family
True Grit (2010): Roger Deakins = Susan Lucci

Best Achievement in Editing
127 Hours (2010): Jon Harris = hope he thanks Cuisinart
Black Swan (2010): Andrew Weisblum = yay
The Fighter (2010): Pamela Martin = whatchutalkinabout?
The King's Speech (2010): Tariq Anwar = shrug
The Social Network (2010): Kirk Baxter, Angus Wall = whatevs

Best Achievement in Art Direction
Alice in Wonderland (2010): Robert Stromberg, Karen O'Hara = barf
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010): Stuart Craig, Stephenie McMillan = yay
Inception (2010): Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat = A for effort
The King's Speech (2010): Eve Stewart, Judy Farr = shock of shocks
True Grit (2010): Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh = yay

Best Achievement in Costume Design
Alice in Wonderland (2010): Colleen Atwood = first mostly-CG costume nom?
I Am Love (2009): Antonella Cannarozzi = shrug
The King's Speech (2010): Jenny Beavan = "
The Tempest (2010/II): Sandy Powell = didn't see, but it's Julie Taymor
True Grit (2010): Mary Zophres = yay

Best Achievement in Makeup
Barney's Version (2010): Adrien Morot = Giamatti hasn't looked so human since Planet of the Apes
The Way Back (2010): Edouard F. Henriques, Greg Funk, Yolanda Toussieng = ironic
The Wolfman (2010): Rick Baker, Dave Elsey = yay

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
127 Hours (2010): A.R. Rahman = yawn
How to Train Your Dragon (2010): John Powell = ok
Inception (2010): Hans Zimmer = ok
The King's Speech (2010): Alexandre Desplat = I like Desplat
The Social Network (2010): Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross = rooting for it

Gonna stop there because we start getting into categories with too many blind spots for me personally. No surprises or even big huge disappointments this year, except maybe the lack of love for Marwencol.

Professional Commentary on the Oscar Nominations

Best Motion Picture of the Year
Avatar = inevitable
The Blind Side = barf
District 9 = anything but The Hangover
An Education = lucky
The Hurt Locker = yay
Inglourious Basterds = big yay
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire = Oprah
A Serious Man = rent Barton Fink
Up = sadly inevitable
Up in the Air = yawn

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart = lifetime achievement award
George Clooney for Up in the Air = male Oprah
Colin Firth for A Single Man = barf
Morgan Freeman for Invictus = yawn
Jeremy Renner for The Hurt Locker = interesting, but dude's a TV actor at heart

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock for The Blind Side = ROTFLMAO
Helen Mirren for The Last Station = never saw
Carey Mulligan for An Education = can do better than Shia LaBeouf
Gabourey Sidibe for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire = and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
Meryl Streep for Julie & Julia = telegraphed

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon for Invictus = wha?
Woody Harrelson for The Messenger = yay
Christopher Plummer for The Last Station = like you've seen this movie
Stanley Tucci for The Lovely Bones = uh...no.
Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds = they've already engraved the plaque

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz for Nine = WTF
Vera Farmiga for Up in the Air = sexy beast
Maggie Gyllenhaal for Crazy Heart = hand a mirror to a narcissist why don't you
Anna Kendrick for Up in the Air = yay
Mo'Nique for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire = inevitable

Best Achievement in Directing
Kathryn Bigelow for The Hurt Locker = yay
James Cameron for Avatar = Bigelow's bitch
Lee Daniels for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire = lucky nobody saw Shadowboxer
Jason Reitman for Up in the Air = barf
Quentin Tarantino for Inglourious Basterds = yay

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
The Hurt Locker: Mark Boal = fine
Inglourious Basterds: Quentin Tarantino = yay
The Messenger: Alessandro Camon, Oren Moverman = gimme a break
A Serious Man: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen = no, seriously, Barton Fink said it all better
Up: Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Thomas McCarthy = barf

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
District 9: Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell = barf (sorry)
An Education: Nick Hornby = whatever
In the Loop: Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche = yay
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire: Geoffrey Fletcher = that's gonna be one long-ass nomination to read off the teleprompter
Up in the Air: Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner = finally, recognition for the guy who wrote the remake of The Longest Yard

Best Achievement in Cinematography
Avatar: Mauro Fiore = there were cameras involved?
The White Ribbon: Christian Berger = the obligatory black-and-white nom
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Bruno Delbonnel = curious
The Hurt Locker: Barry Ackroyd = fine
Inglourious Basterds: Robert Richardson = yay

Best Achievement in Editing
Avatar: Stephen E. Rivkin, John Refoua, James Cameron = it was edited?
District 9: Julian Clarke = barf (sorry)
The Hurt Locker: Bob Murawski, Chris Innis = yay
Inglourious Basterds: Sally Menke = yay, save one appalling cut in chapter two
Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire: Joe Klotz = for having to sit through the rushes I guess

Gonna stop before we start getting into categories where I've only seen one or two nominees. Also who cares.

Oscar Predix for the Four Majors

These are educated guesses based on science and psychic powers granted me in a lightning storm. Bask in my clairvoyishness tomorrow morning, y'all.

Best Actor
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Robert Downey, Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Colin Firth, A Single Man
The Papyrus Font, Avatar

Best Actress
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Jadagrace, Terminator Salvation
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabby Sidibe, Precious...
Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

Best Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Kenny Ortega, This Is It
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Best Picture
Avatar
The Blind Side
An Education
The Hangover
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Post Grad
Precious
Up
Up in the Air

It's Pitchy, Slumdawg

Just in time for Oscar®:

Which is why Danny Boyle's frivolous, exploitive, essentially unforgivable Slumdog Millionaire is such a blight. Nobody likes a downer, and sure enough Boyle's latest folly is an uplifting piece of crap that combines two of our favourite pastimes: winning the lottery and cultural obliviousness. If Boyle and screenwriter Simon Beaufoy were contemporaries of Leni Riefenstahl, rest assured they would have made a happy-go-lucky triumph of the will piece starring the involuntary residents of Auschwitz in the world's most inappropriate game of "You Bet Your Life". It's the sort of film that wins awards this time of year because it's the sort of film that encourages audiences to applaud themselves for their tolerance of blacks/retards/Jews/fags from the safety of a theatre full of people of the exact same socio-cultural strata.

Read Walter Chaw's full review here.

Professional Commentary on the Oscar Nominations

Best Picture
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button = the lesser of 5 evils?
Frost/Nixon = barf
Milk = yawn
The Reader = purchased by a Weinstein
Slumdog Millionaire = barf

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Richard Jenkins for The Visitor = whatever
Frank Langella for Frost/Nixon = fine
Sean Penn = fine
Brad Pitt for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button = curious case
Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler = yay

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married = yawn
Angelina Jolie for Changeling = really?
Melissa Leo for Frozen River = fine
Meryl Streep for Doubt = telegraphed
Kate Winslet for The Reader = tolerable

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Josh Brolin for Milk = yay
Robert Downey Jr. for Tropic Thunder = yay
Philip Seymour Hoffman for Doubt = fine
Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight = yay
Michael Shannon for Revolutionary Road = yay

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams for Doubt = who'm I kidding, I love her
Penélope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona = I'll tell you in another life, when we are both cats
Viola Davis for Doubt = fine
Taraji P. Henson for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button = dubious
Marisa Tomei for The Wrestler = yay

Best Achievement in Directing
Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire = barf
Stephen Daldry for The Reader = whatever
David Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button = delayed reaction to Zodiac
Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon = barf
Gus Van Sant for Milk = yawn

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
Frozen River: Courtney Hunt = LOL
Happy-Go-Lucky: Mike Leigh = yawn
In Bruges: Martin McDonagh = haven't seen, forecasting a yawn
Milk: Dustin Lance Black = absurd
WALL·E: Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter, Jim Reardon = yay with caveats

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Eric Roth, Robin Swicord = embarrassing
Doubt: John Patrick Shanley = yawn
Frost/Nixon: Peter Morgan = barf
The Reader: David Hare = yawn
Slumdog Millionaire: Simon Beaufoy = barf

Best Achievement in Cinematography
Changeling: Tom Stern = uh, no
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Claudio Miranda = yay-esque
The Dark Knight: Wally Pfister = yay
The Reader: Roger Deakins, Chris Menges = yawn
Slumdog Millionaire: Anthony Dod Mantle = you gotta be fucking kidding me

Best Achievement in Editing
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Angus Wall, Kirk Baxter = it was edited?
The Dark Knight: Lee Smith = yay
Frost/Nixon: Daniel P. Hanley, Mike Hill = barf
Milk: Elliot Graham = whatever
Slumdog Millionaire: Chris Dickens = barf

Best Achievement in Makeup ("yay" across the board)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Greg Cannom
The Dark Knight: John Caglione Jr., Conor O'Sullivan
Hellboy II: The Golden Army: Mike Elizalde, Thomas Floutz

Best Achievement in Visual Effects (ditto)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron
The Dark Knight: Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Timothy Webber, Paul J. Franklin
Iron Man: John Nelson, Ben Snow, Daniel Sudick, Shane Mahan

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Bolt: Chris Williams, Byron Howard = fine
Kung Fu Panda: John Stevenson, Mark Osborne = no
WALL·E: Andrew Stanton = yay

Best Documentary, Features (a bizarrely respectable category)
The Betrayal - Nerakhoon: Ellen Kuras, Thavisouk Phrasavath
Encounters at the End of the World: Werner Herzog, Henry Kaiser
The Garden: Scott Hamilton Kennedy
Man on Wire: James Marsh, Simon Chinn
Trouble the Water: Tia Lessin, Carl Deal

Skipped Foreign because only two of those movies have reached my neck, Music because I only remember one of last year's scores (WALL·E), and the rest for either holes in my viewing (the shorts) or blind spots in my movie eye (see: Costumes, Art Direction).

Oscar Predix for the Four Majors

We'll see how right I am in the morning...

Best Actor

• Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino
• Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
• Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
• Sean Penn, Milk
• Zac Efron, High School Musical 3

Best Actress

• Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married
• Camilla Belle, 10,000 BC
• Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road
• Meryl Streep, Doubt
• Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky

Best Director

• Andrew Stanton, WALL•E
• Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino
• Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
• Jon Avnet, 88 Minutes
• Jon Avnet, Righteous Kill

Best Picture

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
• The Dark Knight
• Gran Torino
• Slumdog Millionaire
• The Spirit

Golden Globes

Okay. So this means that Slumdog is a shoo-in, right?

The Golden Globes, a party thrown by the old biddies of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, has come and gone and bestowed upon one of the most appalling films of the year its stamp of approval. And so it goes. . . Me? I'm still high from the Oscars getting it right last year with No Country for Old Men.

So - comments on the nods last night - or the show? I didn't watch it.

And predictions for Oscar noms in a few days?

Friday Talkback (02/23/07)

FFC fiddles while Britney burns:

• Man of the Year (Walter Chaw/Bill Chambers)
• My Name is Earl: Season One (Ian Pugh)
• Down in the Valley (WC)
• Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man (Travis Mackenzie Hoover)
• The Number 23 (WC)

Hard to believe the Oscar (whoops, am I allowed to use that word?) telecast is just days away. I suppose we should talk about them, but for some reason I'm feeling more apathetic about the whole circus than ever before.

Professional Commentary on the Oscar Nominations

Best Picture
Babel = barf
The Departed = yay
Letters From Iwo Jima = yay
Little Miss Sunshine = whatever
The Queen = fine

Actor
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond = say what?
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson = whatever
Peter O'Toole, Venus = cool beans
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness = LOL
Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland = rockin'

Actress
Penelope Cruz, Volver = no comment
Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal = cool beans
Helen Mirren, The Queen = fine
Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada = whatever
Kate Winslet, Little Children = yay

Supporting Actor
Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine = yawn
Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children = fine
Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond = give us free
Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls = day late, dollar short
Mark Wahlberg, The Departed = interesting...

Supporting Actress
Adriana Barraza, Babel = fine
Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal = fine
Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine = yay
Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls = yawn
Rinko Kikuchi, Babel = whatever

Directing
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel = barf
Martin Scorsese, The Departed = yay
Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima = yay
Stephen Frears, The Queen = fine
Paul Greengrass, United 93 = yay

Foreign Language Film
After the Wedding, Denmark = fine
Days of Glory (Indigenes), Algeria = N/A
The Lives of Others, Germany = fine
Pan's Labyrinth, Mexico = yay
Water, Canada = whatever
ASIDE: No Blackbook = yay

Adapted Screenplay
Sacha Baron Cohen and Anthony Hines and Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips, Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan = whatever
Alfonso Cuaron and Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, Children of Men = yay
William Monahan, The Departed = yay
Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, Little Children = barf
Patrick Marber, Notes on a Scandal = whatever

Original Screenplay
Guillermo Arriaga, Babel = barf
Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis, Letters From Iwo Jima = yay (but I couldn't take a Haggis hat-trick)
Michael Arndt, Little Miss Sunshine = yawn
Guillermo del Toro, Pan's Labyrinth = yay
Peter Morgan, The Queen = fine

HONORARY AWARD (Oscar statuette)
Ennio Morricone = yay

JEAN HERSHOLT HUMANITARIAN AWARD (Oscar statuette)
Sherry Lansing = whatever

Read the rest of the nominations here.

A Defense of the Oscars (sort of)

Okay, I like the Oscars. It was a special day for me; I made my predictions in all the categories on Oscar.com and kept score throughout the evening (correctly predicting 11 and missing 13). I changed my work schedule to make sure that I had it off. As far as I'm concerned this is my Super Bowl.

Is it fair to compare it to the Super Bowl? I have no interest whatsoever in football. As with religion, football fans are socialized into believing in it; there is nothing intrinsically interesting or valuable about the sport. Still, I wonder how highly it would be valued amongst most sports fans when it's not their team playing in it. The message that I'm getting is that it's not meant for football fans, it's meant to be for a collective mass audience. I skimmed the game and watched the commercials this year and I found myself very deeply depressed what I was seeing. We usually equate the lowest common denominator with the lowbrow, but in studying the commercials and half-time show we realize that the lowest common denominator works desperately to not offend. Their crutch is the shock celebrity gag cameo. I don't know any way that we could justify to any extent something as banal as the Jessica Simpson ad; and I would shudder to meet the hypothetical yokels who found it stimulating.

The Oscars haven't quite gotten that big. I think that there is still the idea that they're catering to a niche audience. It's more compelling television is what I'm saying. I here you protesting, "But Alex, Stewart relied on shock celebrity gag cameos as well in that intro." Quite right, but to much more of a limited extent. And some of those gags, like the one about Steve Martin's kids have a left-of-center absurdity that's missing in what I see during the Super Bowl. There's relatively more freedom here, more of a capacity to alienate. The collective mass audience appeal of the Super Bowl makes me feel lonely, the more limited (movie-loving) mass appeal of the Oscars makes me feel connected.

The passage of time and the maturing of my tastes in film really helped to wean me off the idea that the Oscars are rewarding the best in year's cinema. Really, I think that the three year win of the mediocre films Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, and Chicago really clenched it for me. I don't take them seriously enough to get mad. I just don't think that they have that much power.

It helps, I guess, that at least one really good film gets nominated every year. Crash actually was my favorite this year, in some way it might have been the only real genre (sci-fi or fantasy) film this year. The musical number, featuring zombies wandering around a burning wasteland of crashed cars, was kind of eerie and wonderful I thought. Love it or hate it, that movie was a work of madness. Not saying that madness necessarily denotes virtue, Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman was a work of madness also and it was one of the worst films of the year.

Anyway...I also liked Brokeback Mountain and Munich. I would have been happy to see them take home more than they did. On average, a Best Picture nominee would earn three stars from me.

Eh...

Crash: ****
Munich: ***1/2
Brokeback Mountain: ***
Good Night and Good Luck: **1/2
Capote: **

The Aviator: ****
Million Dollar Baby: ***
Sideways: ***
Ray: **1/2
Finding Neverland: **1/2

Lost in Translation: ****
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: ****
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World: ***1/2
Mystic River: ***
Seabiscuit: *

You know, maybe only one or two of those each year will find their way into my top ten, but I have generally positive feelings toward the kind of cinema that the Academy recognizes. Maybe I’m just a glass half-full kind of guy. I’m not really bothered that Rocky won over Taxi Driver or that The English Patient won over Fargo; I’m genuinely glad that they were nominated and that that is swimming around in our cultural history.

The Chuck Workman montages and the memoriam and the Lifetime Achievement awards, those always electrify me. I feel good about film when I watch that stuff. I like George Clooney, I like Ang Lee, I like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I like Jon Stewart. Spending three hours with them is a pleasurable experience for me. I guess that this is the long way of saying that it’s not what the Oscars actually award, it’s just the very idea that they exist that there is one night in the year that is devoted to the canonization of the art form.

This was, by the way, a better show than last year. Thank God that they quit that putting the “lesser” nominees on stage as the winner was being announced to save time. Save time for whom exactly?