December 08, 2006

Lindsay Lohan: Auteur

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

21 comments:

The Captain said...

I'd pay you good money to kill her.

Also, I wrote, directed and starred in a lasagne ad.

tmhoover said...

Signs of the apocalypse: Camille Paglia has just decided that the Lohan/Spears/Hilton unholy trinity are just a little TOO slutty. The worm has not just turned, it's spinning on its axis.

Jefferson said...

Lohan makes me sad. She has talent -- Altman must've seen it, and she was perfect in Mean Girls (whatever that says about her as a human being) -- but her BlackBerry manifesto reeks of drug psychosis. The narcissistic paranoia of someone deep in a cocaine binge is all over that memo like stink on shit. So we basically get to watch a potentially great actress dry up and die, and all she gets is ridicule. The people who could intervene with her aren't going to.

That sort of distresses me as a movie fan in the Internet age -- we can watch our performers self-destruct in real time, whereas twenty years ago we would've had to wait for the tell-all biography. Either way, it's tawdry and low, and it creates nothing good for anyone.

Jefferson said...

PS: Captain, that ad made me whimper.

Hollow Man Stuffed Man said...

So we basically get to watch a potentially great actress dry up and die, and all she gets is ridicule.

You sure you're not on a cocaine binge?

Anonymous said...

'Nuff said.

rachel said...

Coming to a discotheque near you...

Lindsay Lohan's Revenge- Pase Rock (with Spank Rock and Santogold

Umm, catchy!

(Be sure to thank the fine people at Gorilla vs. Bear.)

Bill C said...

That link is great, Anonymous; I wasn't kidding when I said that she and Herbie had the same range of facial expressions. The only other actress with such a limited palette is--don't shoot the messenger--Sarah Polley.

Bill C said...

Here's the coke binge Blackberry dispatch Jefferson's referring to, by the by. It's fascinating reading, for real; the only thing missing is a mention of the JFK assassination.

Dave Gibson said...

Isn't there enough Lohan-inspired schadenfreude being ladled out on virtually every half-assed blog on the web, without FFC getting into it? I agree with Jefferson that this episode is just so bloody sad--not just the very public self-immolation of a promising talent, but also the vicious, unabashed glee that so many seem to take in watching it happen. I'm sure you'll eventually get the result you want though--LL will die of an overdose or something equally hilarious--and the world will be finally spared from bad movies.

tmhoover said...

I agree. There are so many more important vile people in the world that the travails of an in-over-her-head actress do not seem worthy of such rage and derision. My two cents.

The Captain said...

And yet she and her kin of bubble-headed coke sluts seem to be dredged up in the news over and over to an audience of, who, exactly? I can't imagine anyone of value caring about the latest sexploits of Paris "Aids" Hilton, or what the hell Britney has done this week. Honestly, I'd like to see them all put down.

Carl Walker said...

I have a female friend (a few years younger than I, and I'm 25) who violently, corrosively (if you can use that word that way) hates Keira Knightley, and brings her up out of nowhere to bash her. She has her reasons... but still. I guess my point is, if I'm going to hate anyone, it's gonna be the faceless, behind-the-scenes figures: the producers, casting directors, tabloid journalists (TV and print) and whoever else is responsible for the talentless starlet parade we have arguably been subjected to lately. Singling out Lohan, Knightley, or someone else such as Johannson or Dunst and making them the subject of the hate does seem to miss the point.

In the case of most of what FFC produces, of course, plenty of blame is indeed laid at the doorstep of those truly responsible. That said, this only makes this particular obsession seem a bit more off-the-mark, and so I agree with Jefferson, Dave, and Travis. I do recognize, however, that it is probably easier for me to keep a cool head about Lohan because I have only seen her in Mean Girls and the Altman film, and that if I had to watch her "oeuvre" as a film critic, I might not be so blase'.

Bill C said...

If one post about La Lohan qualifies as an obsession (I maintain that that press release she sent out after Altman's passing was fair game, it being a press release and all), even one as innocuous and absurd as a collage of the inexplicable winking motif that runs across her one-sheet portfolio, then so be it.

Yeah, I did hammer into her in my Just My Luck review, but most of you are coming from the privileged vantage point of not having endured that film; my general philosophy is that the art and the artist are inseparable besides.

I do wish I shared the opinion that she had a lot of promise, though. To me, Walter perfectly distilled her pre-meltdown essence when he called her "Frankie Muniz in drag."

The Captain said...

Oh man, I've seen every one of her films, I think. Just My Luck was agony. You and me, Bill, we no longer have to fear Hell.

Dave Gibson said...

"Art and the artist are inseparable"

That's definitely more interesting than dissecting Ms. Lohan's dubious ouevre, and a big reason I was motivated to chime in on the initial posts a few weeks about the LL 'press release'. It's troubling that we can seriously consider the regurgitated wire reports and whatever Variety has deigned to leak to the blogosphere as true evocations of individual personalities, enough so that we can claim to 'know' the artist behind the work we actively engage or simply watch passively. (I should add that I'm frequently guilty of this as well--just try and get me to watch a Tim Allen movie) All of the information we have on LL (or Michael Richards or Mel etc, etc..) is sold to us--this has nothing to do with the truthfulness of art or our own personal investigations and everything to do with commerce. Lindsay Lohan is being packaged as the spoiled, drunken "party slut" and that's what eveyone's buying. I'm not saying this is an entirely false image of LL--but, that's all it is--an incomplete, heavily marketed image which sells plenty of ad space. If we're trying to learn more about the artist behind the art--I'd wonder why Lindsay Lohan is the way she is--rather than just make sport of her public, ugly transgressions. I suspect that's of little interest to most folks (including me--LL is no Scarlett)--which is why I can't see this celebrity worship/execution cycle as more than the cheap, cynical sport that it is-- the modern equivalent of the town square lynching; indeed, some folks on this blog believe that for these heavily packaged, Access Hollywood (dis)-approved antics, Lindsay Lohan should be killed! There's undoubtedly more than a hint of baroque playfulness to these sorts of comments--but, we're still talking about human beings here. If we're going to qualify the worth of each new release with the way _______ (celebrity) allegedly behaved at ______ (nightclub) last week, then film criticism really is doomed. Example: Matthew Broderick is actually, quite literally, directly reponsible for the deaths of two people--is this not worse than drinking Jaeger and fucking Paris Hilton's boyfriend? Do either one of these truths, even remotely inform the greatness of "Ferris Bueller" or the suckitude of "...Teenage Drama Queen"? (Indeed, it stunk)

Rich said...

Congrats, Lindsay. Clap, clap, clap.

I post this not so much to join in on the Lohan bashing (though this article makes for pretty good fodder), but more in light of the fact that this was the 5th highest of CNN.com's top stories. Great site.

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